Learning to be Zen, especially when life deals you a lousy hand is one of my definitions of success. Stress levels throughout the world are skyrocketing and many of us are feeling lost, disconnected and on the verge of a burnout. We could all do with a little more Zen in our lives. If only the elusive state could be achieved by sitting cross-legged on a cushion and chanting ohmmm every day! In reality, it requires a little more work. One life-changing lesson I learnt while studying the ancient principles of the Vedas (in a retreat called the Vedanta Academy in India) is that, it’s not so much what happens to you in life but how you react to it that counts. If we start responding to stressful events in a Zen-like manner, then we are halfway there.
FOUR WAYS TO BE ZEN
1. STOP TAKING THINGS PERSONALLY
I still struggle with this concept, however, I know it’s critical to our happiness levels. You will always come across offensive people in life, but as soon as you stop taking their words and actions so personally, you automatically feel better. As the Dalai Lama says, “Don’t let the behaviour of others destroy your inner peace”. My Zen teacher explained to me that people’s behaviour is not really about you. Most of the time they are trying to satisfy their own agenda. For instance, if they blame things on you, it’s usually because they’re unwilling to take responsibility for themselves.
ZEN ACT: Being someone who is naturally hot-headed, if someone says something to aggravate me, I immediately imagine I’m gently drifting out to sea on a sailboat – I keep this image in my mind for about half a minute. This technique is called anchoring (and is used in neuro-linguistic programming, aka NLP) and it helps you to be calm on command. To create an anchor, you simply recall a beautifully calm memory and while you focus upon that, press your thumb and index finger firmly together for 30 seconds. This is called an anchor gesture. When you release it, immediately switch your thoughts. To create a strong anchor, repeat this process 10 times. Then, whenever you feel anxious, fire up the anchor.
2. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON
When your world is upside down, it’s comforting to remember that it’s often the Universe’s way of moving us in a different direction. Start to be aware of the flow of the Universe – it’s always trying to communicate and relay messages in various guises. Scientists say we are one gigantic interconnected energy field and that all coincidences have underlying meanings.
ZEN ACT: If you keep coming up against the same problem, it’s most likely because you have not have grasped the lesson yet. Try to see obstacles as opportunities to learn something new. As per the Law of Attraction, once you choose to view the situation in an optimistic light you can expect a more positive outcome.
3. BREATHE DEEPLY
When something distressing happens, our body goes into flight or fight mode. Our natural temptation is to panic and as a result our breathing becomes shallow. When stress kicks in, experts say we should take long inhalations and exhalations. Medical research shows that deep, controlled breathing combats the stress-related chemicals that are released in our bodies. Breathing deeply immediately calms our nervous system. Our life begins and ends with breathing yet we often underestimate the power of our breath.
ZEN ACT: It’s possible to change how you feel by slowing down your breathing. Slowly inhale through your nose and count to four in your head. Then let the air out through your mouth, to the count of eight. It’s as simple as that!
4. LIVE IN THE PRESENT
We are surrounded by weapons of mass distraction, which makes it harder to savour the present. That’s why during a music concert, you’ll see thousands trying to capture the moment on their mobile cameras instead of actually feeling it. Absurdly, our monkey minds spend an incredible amount of time obsessing about the past and worrying about the future. One of the world’s most respected Zen masters, Thich Nhat Hanh stresses the importance of learning to dwell peacefully within the present moment, since this boosts our happiness levels. Studies show our immune system is far stronger when we shift our awareness to the here and now.
ZEN ACT: Next time you meet a friend for a catch up, switch your phone off or put it on silent. Give your friend your undivided attention and see how much more engaging the conversation is.
Love,
